Wednesday, October 26, 2016

I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE (PART 1)


March 2015.  I still remembered it was Sunday. I was sitting right under cold air conditioner at the church. It was so cold. During the service, I couldn’t focus to the sermon. I tried my best to make my body warm. I wasn’t only feeling cold and sick, I also got a big headache. Right after service, I asked my friend to find me something hold. They gave me a glass of hot milk. After my body stopped shaking, I went home.

I was thinking I got cold so I chose to take a rest, hoping that I would get better after a long sleep.  After two days, I wasn’t feeling better. I still had my fever and headache. I decided to meet the doctor. At the hospital, they asked me to take blood test. I took the test and the result wasn’t good. I got types and dengue fever.

Long story short, I was hospitalized.  It was the first time ever. It was the first time being hospitalized, infused, and I didn’t like it. I was hospitalized for five days. I ate everything that would make me healed. I drank ang kak water, guava juice, date palm, and a lot of water.

After five days, the doctor said that I could leave the hospital. I took a rest for a week at home. After several days, I could go back to my routine life. I was doing my thesis. Right after three weeks, my body was dropped again. I didn’t know why but yeah it happened.  I went to the doctor again and he said that I got types (again). That time, I was scared. I was scared to die.

I took a rest for two weeks and I wasn’t feeling better at all. It was getting worse than ever. My stomach acid was increased. I got sleep problem. I couldn’t sleep and I was scared to sleep. My hands and feet got cold. The heartbeat wasn’t normal too. I felt my stomach bloated. I felt something bleeding inside my mouth/ throat. It was that bad.

I didn’t know what to do. I spent every single day crying, crying and crying. There were so many tears. I was scared to death.  It was the lowest point of my life. I never felt scared like that before. I realize that I didn’t believe God. I asked myself, 

Where is my faith?
Why don't I believe in God?

The sea turned so rough. My life got tough. My heart was broken. I listened to one song that gave me courage to get through this season.  It reminded me that His Word stands strong, His love won’t fail, and He is more than enough for me. 

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