I am so glad I’ve had the chance to read this book as a single. I wish every young person who is single, dating, or engaged will read this book before they get into a serious relationship. Especially before they get married. This is well-written book by Gary Thomas on the subject of relationship. The insight and wisdom Gary Thomas presents, with his transparent style, will open your heart and make you think wider about marriage. There are so many good points from this book, but I want to share with you 3 things which I think is really good for my unmarried readers.
Seek first the kingdom of God.
This is the “how” from Gary Thomas, and I absolutely agree with this. When you seek God first, then He promises us that all things shall be added unto us, including your spouse. It’s an exciting promise of rich and meaningful life for you and me. If you remain rooted in Christ, God’s guidance and wisdom shall added unto you to make a right decision for your marriage.
I read an article, and it said that pursuing marriage is a good pursuit, but it shouldn’t become the primary pursuit. This is my favorite, “don’t put your faith, worship, and service on a shelf, assuming you can pick it back up once you find your mate.”
Finding your mate is more about WHY than WHO.
The first chapter, “A Tale of Two Tears”, Gary Thomas presents two tears that we will have on our tenth anniversary, tears of joy or tears of pain. Every marriage will take time and effort, and I do believe that You and I must work hard for our marriage. Then, You will think that you need to find somebody who is patience, reliable, and mature. I do agree with it, but Gary Thomas explains perfectly that how you decide your partner will be driven more by the reason why you get married.
Gary quotes, “It’s not that the “who” doesn’t matter (in fact, it matters very much); it’s just that asking and settling the “why’ question first will set you up to make a wise choice about the “who”. Why do you want to get married? That’s what you need to ask before you decide who to marry.”
I asked this question for myself. For me, it’s really important, because when you get married, and you feel something is wrong with your marriage, you cannot start all over. You’ll be stuck with your spouse FOREVER.
Being in love isn’t enough.
This is one of my favorite because it happens a lot to my friends especially my girlfriend. I mean, being in love is very emotional and to be into a serious relationship, we need to be rational and wise. I love reading this book because it helps you to see relationship realistically and logically. I don’t say that it doesn’t matter for relationship but being in love with somebody isn’t enough of a reason for you to get into a serious relationship or get married with somebody.
This is the best part, Gary writes, “I believe both Scripture and science testify that making a lifetime decision about who to marry primarily on the basis of romantic attraction is a very foolish thing to do.”
I hope you will spend more time to think about “WHY”, asking yourself why you choose him, and thinking of what would your life be like with the person you are dating now. Please, don’t bet your life on it.